I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
