tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
i think i just lost a toe
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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