So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
thus making me awesome and them whores
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize