You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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