I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
