she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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