Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
