my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
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It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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