i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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