I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
