i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
People with herpes should wear stickers.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize