I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
