alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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