Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
