The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
