there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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