Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize