i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!