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• (415): View more from California

  shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.

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• (516): View more from New York

  he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"

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• 

  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.

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• (760): View more from California

  I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home

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• (210): View more from Texas

  If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  My legs r really sober for running now

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  I don't think that's how sobriety works.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..

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