Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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