Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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