it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
