What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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