If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
