In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
