sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
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There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
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I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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