First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
