ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
