Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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