I want to walk on stilts...naked
im six kinds of drunk right now
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
