i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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