I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
