Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
