Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
