This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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