Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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