Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
is that a dick in a sweater?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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