I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
