Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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