Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
