Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i wish my penis had a tongue
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize