This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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