how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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