What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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