You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
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i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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