guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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