i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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