Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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