i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
