You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
