YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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