the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
50% drunk capacity currently
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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