ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
