So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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