I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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