What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
