I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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