I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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