you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
