i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
