Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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