ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
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