youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
