Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
