This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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