i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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